Well, winter is in full force here in Colorado. I am a summer person and the cold and snow is hard for me. It doesn't make it any easier that we have had sickness after sickness here in the house, culminating with all but Jason getting "something" this week and Katie topping it off with Pink Eye. Yuck.
Back in January, we looked at a house for sale and were just about to make an offer when we found out there were multiple offers already in play. We were bummed. It was a huge thing to even be approved for a loan, we had fully expected them to say that we did not qualify at this time and that was ok with us. THAT was what we were prepared for. But then to actually get it! Oh joy! We've been renting for 6 years and we've been proud property owners for 5, but with the foreclosure market in Pagosa, we can buy for less than we can build, we prayed about it so hard and really felt God saying ok....
My parents are awesome in believing that when one thing falls through, it's usually because God has something better for you out there. I struggle with that still. It makes it harder that we can see the house we wanted from out current kitchen window.
We have gone back to seeing if we CAN afford to build this year. Thanks to Dad being an architect we have 2 sets of lovely plans, a 1 story design and a 2 story design. Which one is cheaper to build is the question! But both are great and it's exciting to know that even if we have to wait, there is something wonderful in our "after renting" future.
There is a song that's been special to me the last couple of months. It's called "In Like A Lion (Always Winter)" by Relient K.
Here are the lyrics-
It's always nice to look out the window
And see those very first few flakes of snow
And later on we can go outside
And create the impression of an angel that just fell from the sky
When February rolls around I'll roll my eyes
Turn a cold shoulder to these even colder skies
And by the fire my heart it heaves a sigh
For the green grass waiting on the other side
It's always winter but never Christmas
It seems this curse just can't be lifted
Yet in the midst of all this ice and snow
Our hearts stay warm cause they are filled with hope
It'd be so nice to look out the window
And see the leaves on the trees begin to show
The birds would congregate and sing
A song of birth a song of newer things
The wind would calm and the sun would shine
I'd go outside and I'd squint my eyes
But for now I will simply just withdraw
Sit here and wish for this world to thaw
And everything it changed overnight
This dying world you brought it back to life
And deep inside I felt things
Shifting everything was melting away (oh away)
And You gave us the most beautiful of days
Cause when it's always winter but never Christmas
Sometimes it feels like You're not with us
But deep inside our hearts we know
That You are here and we will not lose hope
I don't "sense" God as much in the winter. As funny as that might sound. You don't hear the birds as much, snow is so quiet when it falls, and even though it can be pretty sometimes, looking at a white landscape for 5 months is not appealing to me. I love the sound of rain. I love thunderstorms. I love the wind! It gets really windy here in the spring and everyone I know hates it, except me. I miss the ocean. Sometimes I wish that I could live in a shack on the beach. Just so I could listen to the waves crashing on the shore. When my grandpa passed away in 2007, my parents flew me out to his service in Santa Barbara, CA. We drove by the beach and I wish that I had said something and we had stopped. I haven't been to the ocean in 10 years.
The last verse of the song reminds me that even in the "winter season" of my life, God's is there. And I don't lose hope.