restless

The last few weeks have been really hard.

I have been looking for a job.  I've been less than thrilled about it, as being a mom to 4 kids IS a full time job, adding a part time job (one that will have to happen at night and on weekends so I don't spend my paycheck on a babysitter) is stressing me out and the very idea is making me tired.

One of the reasons that we moved here was to make a steady income, that covers our bills and allows us to budget in some extra things for the kids like ballet classes or piano lessons.  To also have more time as a family and not have to work 7 days a week to make ends meet.

Right now that's not happening.  The only future that *I* can see looks like hard work, lots of stress and just getting by.  And Jason and I are so very tired.

I've really, really been questioning why we moved here.  I just do not get why we pray and pray and pray for the Lord to guide us and we feel that He led us here, but then things are just as hard, if not harder, especially without the support system that we've developed over 15 years in Pagosa.

I've been angry.  And last week I was so lonely that I sat down and cried for an hour.

We hadn't been going to church because the first place we tried, was overwhelming and we didn't like it at all.  But an old friend that I've known since I was born, told us about a new church, full of young couples so we went over there last week.  It was so nice.  People were friendly and the kids had a great time.  The sermon was excellent, so we decided to go back again this week.

I am so very glad that we did.

The pastor started a new series today called Game Plan and it's theme is football based.  So they had all sorts of songs that you'd hear at a football game playing as you came in this morning, they were "tailgating" with Krispy Kreme donuts out front and handing out plastic cups with the church name on them.  Their worship leader even sang We Will Rock You with a live band.  It was a fun, creative start to the morning.

The sermon was all about God's plan for our lives.  It covered the "fundamentals" today.

And it spoke straight to my heart.

I am sharing my notes and the song that they wished to be a prayer over everyone's lives this week.  I hope that even if my scattered notes don't mean anything to you, that you listen to the song and it blesses your day.


Colossians 3:1-4

“So if you're serious about living this new resurrection life with Christ, act like it. Pursue the things over which Christ presides. Don't shuffle along, eyes to the ground, absorbed with the things right in front of you. Look up, and be alert to what is going on around Christ—that's where the action is. See things from his perspective. Your old life is dead. Your new life, which is your real life—even though invisible to spectators—is with Christ in God. He is your life. When Christ (your real life, remember) shows up again on this earth, you'll show up, too—the real you, the glorious you…..”

As we all know, Lazarus died and Jesus raised him from the dead.  He lived twice.

Point to ponder: Do you think that the things that worried and stressed Lazarus out the first time, stressed out and worried Lazarus the second time?

Question- God, what should I do with my life? Go with my life? Be in my life?

Answer- I AM your life.

God is not merely a component of your life.  God is your life, He is the plan for you.

When we learn to not place all our focus on the future, but to focus on God, God will lead us to the future He has for us.  When we understand this, there is a peace about whatever situation we find ourselves facing.

If your focus is on Him, He will lead you to your future.

There is a prize inside of you- God’s spirit living inside of you.  Let God be God inside of you and let the prize pour out of you.

For the next 7 days, simply rest.  God is in you.  God loves you.  God has a plan for you.  Simply rest there.