happy birthday to me

So, I turned 30.  Like 6 months ago.

I've taken 6 months to post as I wasn't thrilled with how my pictures turned out.  My perfectionist side kept editing them.  Specifically I didn't like the ones of me personally.  My photographer was great (seriously, thank you dad for putting up with me while I tried to "pop a pose!") I just thought in my head I looked better (read: thinner) and then when *I* felt that I didn't, well... major delay on the blog.

I know, I know.  You're going to say, "you look great!" and I don't look like a troll, I'll admit that.  I guess I just wanted to look extra special.  And didn't think I did.  But I've been dealing with my issues, I have lots of them, if you tune in here regularly you know this.  And I've decided that whether or not my warped brain thinks I look ok, the point is: I had a great night, with great people and great food!  So at long last, happy birthday to me.  Read on for alll the details!  Like grab a cup of coffee or your lunch as the planning is as much fun to me as the event.  I kind of go on and on.

I think ahead.  Way ahead.  This sometimes creates massive stress, like when I dwell on children leaving for college in less years than they have been alive... but for the most part it works out pretty well as I don't often wait till the last minute to get 'er done.  So I started planning my late September birthday in January.  I knew exactly what I wanted to do, just had to fit it in my proposed budget.  (The farther you plan ahead, the more you can get done on a smaller budget as you can purchase/make a deposit on items over time and watch for sales, rather than all at once when it might not be the best price.)  The BIG idea was to have about 20 friends over for dinner and then watch a movie, all outside on our patio.  I wanted to have a vintage look and lots of flowers!   

I figured I'd make my own invites, dinner and dessert to keep the cost down.  And I would rent tables and chairs, a projector and screen.  I love antique items and wanted to purchase plates, silverware, glasses and linens so I could reuse them.  But that wound up being too expensive, so most of those things went on the rental list as well.  I did buy most of my decor such as votives, lanterns and flower pots, but I purchased them at Ikea and saved a ton.  I also purchased things at World Market and eBay.  I made sure what ever I bought I would reuse and I've gotten my money's worth!  

Sometime around June I realized my budget wasn't going to accommodate my grand plans and I decided to just can the whole thing.  It was a quite a bit of money I had been thinking of spending and I was feeling very wasteful.  Jason talked me out of it, noting I didn't have an 18th birthday party and on my 21st I was pregnant, 25 was shared with Liam's 1st and I should go forth and celebrate just me, the man said I was important too.  (Secretly I think he's a chocolate cake addict and didn't want to me to bail for that reason alone.)  My parents, agreeing with Jason and knowing how much I had been planning and looking forward to everything, happily offered to cover the entire cost of the party so we could ALL celebrate! 

So go forth I did with some adjustments.  The movie got scrapped.  And as I mentioned, the buying for keeps of tableware was switched to renting.  Thankfully my dear friend Elizabeth passed on the name of a fabulous rental company, Loot Vintage Rentals and they had everything my heart could desire!  Seriously, if you ever need vintage items, look no further.  The ladies were extremely helpful, prompt and accommodating.  Austin has so much to offer for events, and it was nice to not have to drive an hour or two for big ticket items.  I got my tables and chairs from Austin Party Central, I highly recommend them as well!  And I was able to purchase my flowers wholesale at Austin Flower Co. and they had such a great selection.  So beautiful.  

September 20th eventually rolled around and my folks came down to help out.  I immediately stuck my dad on a project and he put my photo collage frame together for me.  And my mom was there with moral support as we drove downtown through a downpour the day before my outdoor party to purchase flowers.  Finally after a ton of time on Pinterest, at HEB and Sam's Club, in my kitchen, sitting at my dining room table and wondering what in the world I was going to wear, it was party time!   Enjoy the pictures.  I promise I'm done talking now.   

invitations

It POURED outside the day before the party, but we woke up to perfect weather.  My dad and Jason tried for an hour to yank this thing out so it wouldn't be such an eyesore.  They eventually just turned it around so we didn't have a basket hanging over our heads.

my photo collage

My mother, "Stop taking pictures.  Please go get your dress on.  I hear car doors slamming."

tables, chairs & pink tablecloth~ Austin Party Central

silverware, plates & crocheted cloth~ Loot Vintage Rentals

mason jars & napkins~ my own

my Better Homes & Gardens shot

always buy dresses with pockets.

dress~ Mod Cloth

I invited 20, but there were only 8, however we had a wonderful time!!!

I found this blog and Jason followed their directions and put up string lights for me (for cheap!)

I made both of my favorite cakes.

Chocolate-chocolate and a white cake w/ whip cream icing and red grapes of all things! 

garlic & thyme quinoa patties

I posted this picture of my lunch on facebook yesterday-

And I received quite a few requests for the recipe.  If I'd known people would be so interested, I would have taken more pictures.  And made sure I actually had all the proper ingredients.  What I made was sort of a mash up of stuff as I had left over quinoa from the previous nights dinner I wanted to use up.

Here is the original recipe.  (I've included my "hybrid" recipe too.)  Enjoy!

Garlic & Thyme Quinoa Patties
from Cook Republic

2 & 1/2 c. cooked quinoa (cook it according to your packages instructions and let it cool)
5 organic eggs (I used non-organic eggs and 4 of them)
1/2 c. grated parmesan cheese
3 whole meal bread slices, processed into bread crumbs (I used 3 c. panko bread crumbs)
1/4 c. chives, finely chopped (I didn't have any on hand, they taste fine without them)
3 garlic cloves, finely chopped (I use my Pampered Chef garlic press)
1 large Spanish onion, finely chopped (I used 1/2 of a white onion)
1 T. fresh thyme, finely chopped (I used 2 tsp. dried thyme leaves)
1 tsp. paprika
sea salt flakes to taste (I just used boring regular salt, approx. 1 tsp.)

olive oil to pan fry

Combine all ingredients and mix well.  The recipe says to mix with a large wooden spoon, but that means more dishes so I just use my hands.

Scoop up some mixture to shape a pattie, according to Cook Republic, "your patties should be approximately 5cm in diameter and 1cm thick."  Since I don't speak metric, I just scoop up a palm full and shape it into a small patty.

Heat 1-2 T. oil in a large pan on medium heat.  "Gently place" 4-5 patties, or turn your hand upside down and slap the patties in the pan, and shallow fry.  Cook each side for 2-3 minutes or until golden brown.

Repeat until all patties are cooked, use a tablespoon of oil for each new batch.  Makes- 20

Serve hot or cold.  With ketchup.  Which sounds gross and not right after you've just splurged on organic eggs and whole meal homemade bread crumbs.  So I serve them with semi-homemade marinara sauce.

Notes:

From C.R., "these are delicate patties and a tad tricky to shape as they may stick to your hands or fall apart in the pan.  Gentle handling will prevent them from falling apart."

No.  It won't.  These aren't a tad tricky to shape.  They are impossible.  Doesn't matter which recipe you use.  The 6 in the pic above were the best looking ones.  As you shape the patties they just glob up, so be patient and flip them into the pan off your palm carefully so you don't splash hot oil on yourself.  Once one side is cooked, they hold together pretty well.

mommy-guilt

Anytime I write something I feel is controversial with the intention of sharing, I end up editing into oblivion as to not offend.  This post has been sitting, ready to be shared for weeks.  But I've been so scared of upsetting anyone's delicate sensibilities, I've held off till now.  However...

Keep in mind, if you think this post is singling you out, it's not.  If you get offended, I'm sorry.  That wasn't my intention.  I just had a mental breakdown and thought you ought to know.

I have mommy guilt.  Not the, "I just hid in the pantry while I ate a pop tart" mommy guilt.  The soul deep, massive, overwhelming "my kids eat gluten and dairy and I don't buy organic everything and their teeth will fall out because I use granulated sugar and I buy fast food like once a week and we watch tv, use store bought deodorant, don't make our own laundry soap and they go to public school" kind of mommy guilt.  I am drowning in it.

I tell you, if one more person says to me that I shouldn't eat sugar/bread/pasta/non-free-range eggs/meat/poultry/dairy/processed-anything/canned food I will run screaming into Dunkin' Donuts barefoot and the police will find me there stuffing myself into a processed, sugary, gluten coma.

I often fall into despair when I make a grocery list.  My budget doesn't always allow me to buy only "the good stuff."

I feel shame because my kids *gasp* eat bread!

Why?!

Why do I beat myself up because I cook from scratch and yet I still feel like I'm not measuring up to Suzy Q. next door?

Am I really doing such a HUGE disservice to my family because I'm not gluten free, dairy free, paleo, vegan, vegetarian, fruitarian or whatever the next "free-arian" is?

Why am I, and the way I live, seemingly not good enough anymore?

Please note: I realize that many of these diets are very necessary for some people.  I have friends who I love that eat fermented food and I don't shun them.  I have others that get violently ill if they eat gluten and I am not saying they should.  I don't want them to be sick!  Certain people NEED to eliminate many things from their diet in order FOR their bodies to properly function and for them to be at their best.  I am not upset or annoyed or anything else with them for sharing their lifestyle and diets with us. 

I just want to know when did it become not ok to eat a normal, balanced diet?

I'm not talking about ding-dongs and diet coke for breakfast, Taco Bell for lunch and potato chips and fried chicken for dinner all while you sit on your Hoveround.  I'm talking Brazil Butt Lift DVD's, lots of fresh fruits and veggies, whole grains, a bit of dairy, chicken and beef... it's what's for dinner.

God gave us all one body and we should fuel it and take care of it to the best of our ability!  Which is what I try to do, but I can't do it ALL.

And everyday, on tv/facebook/instagram/pinterest I am bombarded by it all.  I am reminded that I'm not doing exactly what the experts say.  That somehow, in some way, I'm irrevocably messing it up.

And then I feel guilt.  Which leads to frustration.  Which leads to me hiding in the pantry and crying while I eat Stevia with a spoon.

It needs to stop.  And not just because Stevia is gross.

God doesn't ask me to be perfect.  (Which is a really good thing.  Because I obviously have "issues" with perfectionism...)

So this year, I'm just going to do my best.

And sometimes if my best is pizza from Papa Murphy's so I have more time to go play at the playground with my kids, or spend a few extra minutes talking to my husband about his day and not ignore him to go make dinner, then that's what it will be.

I will stop reading every-single-thing-about-every-single-diet so I don't feel shell shocked.

I will continue to mainly cook from scratch with quality ingredients.

I will make small dietary changes when necessary and not feel overwhelmed.

I will be confident in the knowledge that my family is happy and healthy, even though they didn't have $5 a doz. cage free eggs for breakfast.

I will be thankful that even when I can't afford a cart full of only "the good stuff" at the grocery store, I am provided for and able to afford groceries period.

Because I am good enough.

And if I stop stressing so much about food, maybe I'll have time to make my own laundry soap.

the 52 project

For Christmas 2012 I got a "fancy" camera.  An awesome Canon Rebel and I told myself I was really going to get off the auto settings in 2013 and learn how to shoot in manual, but alas, it didn't happen.  I mean, I definitely learned more than I had previously known, but the auto settings are still my best friend.

So at the beginning of this year I seriously put some thought into joining the 365 project.  A picture a day for a year.  Then I remembered that I don't always get my teeth brushed or a shower every day and making sure I got my big camera out every. single. day. seemed overwhelming.

Then I stumbled upon a hashtag on Instagram for the 52 project.  A photo a week for a year.  Much better.

I'm already behind, but it's ok.  I missed the very first week of the year, but got a shot in last week and will try and make up for my slacker tendencies this week with 2 pictures.  So much pressure...

Anyway, here is my first shot- a Texas road on a foggy day.  (Don't worry mom and dad.  I checked both ways for cars before I stood in the middle of the road.)

1/52

christmas "letter" 2013

As much as I would like to send every-single-person I know an actual Christmas card every-single-year, I just can't.  So while a few of you got a real life card, most of you will have to settle for this.  And by "this" I mean a few pictures.  I wanted to write a short blurb about each of us and get it up on here by New Year at the latest, but then I got sick a couple days after Christmas and now it's January 10th and I just don't have it in me.  But the great thing about a blog is that YOU can go back and see all my old posts and catch up with our new nothings.  Tada!

We did our own pictures this year.  I went into it with Mary Poppins positivity, a $15 tripod and some staging ideas from Pinterest.  Getting 6 people to all look at the camera and smile on cue for a timer is not easy.  Folks, we got this money shot on the 3rd try!  As soon as I saw it I shouted out, "WE DID IT!" and there was joy in the land.  

For about 3 seconds till I told the kids I wanted to get a few shots of just them.  There was some initial moaning and groaning but then I explained I wanted them to stand on the couch and jump.  That was more up their alley and the four of them happily climbed on-

I neglected to mention that I just wanted a little jump.  When I told them to sort of bounce, this is the reaction I got-

Deciding this was not working out I told them all to sit and first we made funny faces to lighten the mood-

Then we tried some nice smiles-

The boys were up next-

Then I asked Liam if I could take one of just him-

For some reason this was the only one I took of the girls together-

Jason and I used the tripod, just give us a barn and a pitchfork-

Then to make up for shed tears in the couch jumping debacle, I told Liam to hop on and show me what he's got! After I cut off his head (the kid can JUMP!) and a photo bomb, we got a good one-

I took individual pictures of the girls at the park because I also wanted to use them as "school" photos.  (I decided not to buy pictures from the school this year.)  We got some lovely shots!  I also asked permission at the library to take a photo of the girls as they both have quite a passion for reading and I thought it would be a nice addition if I wrote a Christmas letter-

That wraps up our card creating adventure and if you're wondering where Finn's individual pictures are, so am I.  Did you know I have 4 kids?  Because I apparently forgot.  Hopefully I haven't scarred him for life.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone!  Keep up with us here because you'll probably just get another picture card again next year...

gift giving

Christmas was mellow this year.  Probably because we had one sick kiddo and no extra family in town on the actual holiday.  My parents came to visit the day after and we had a lovely time with them, until the one sick kid turned into another sick kid, sick mommy and sick grandma.  Then the party was over.

I just sat down today and downloaded Christmas pictures off the camera (I did not recover quickly from whatever junk my child gifted me with...) and I laughed and laughed at some of the expressions I captured.

Have a laugh yourself.  (And excuse the blurry-ness.  I usually have great success using the action setting and auto-focus on my camera when I know my lack of skills won't keep up with manual settings.  But for some reason, things were off this morning.)

We kept the gift giving small this year.  Partly because we gave the kids bathroom an update (that's another post) and it wasn't necessarily cheap, but mainly because we see Christmas as a time to celebrate the birth of Jesus, not to spoil our kids rotten with stuff. 

So it was group gifts, like new art supplies, and a few special individual items.

Finn loves to cook!  If I am in the kitchen, he is next to me on his step stool. So we and the 4 Grands all chipped in and bought this fellow his own kitchen and pots, pans, etc. 

Finn is a blankie and pacifier baby. He used his other blankets to shreds, so they got replaced. He opened the box, grabbed the blankets and headed for the nearest lap!

Who knew soup mugs could be so exciting!

Liam likes to call it his "derector" set.  

Evie got a special bowl to hold her earrings.

Working hard at getting that ribbon off!

Katie is always excited! I love that.  Evie... well.

(And thanks Uncle Jake for the new blu-ray player. :) )

I'm dying.  This face.

The man got Ghostbusters.

And Demolition Man.

(And do you like my grey ghetto/redneck moving blanket curtains?)

I told the girls to run their new clothes upstairs and put them away real quick before we watched a movie.... these beds (for their American Girl dolls) from Ikea were on the floor when they came back down. I think Jason and I went deaf from the exclamations of joy!

Rum cake for breakfast and a shot of the trees I made to decorate the table.

And the day after...

I know where Katie gets the tongue thing from...

Happy holidays y'all!